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In-Laws - Breaking the Ties HEALTHILY


          I was fortunate enough to marry into a family where my in-laws are very pleasant and loving people. From the moment my husband and I started dating, I developed a very good relationship with them and really enjoyed being in their company. I began dating my husband in Rexburg and he is originally from Idaho Falls. For those of you who don’t know, Idaho Falls is just a short 25 minute drive from Rexburg. We would go there every Sunday for dinner with his family and, normally, another time during the week to do some kind of activity. I didn’t mind at all and really enjoyed having a family unity there since my family was 500 miles away in Las Vegas. 
          When my husband and I got married, the relationship with them did not change. They were still loving, not overbearing, and gave us our space. The only thing I noticed was the number of times my husband would call his parents for advice or other things once we were married. I completely understood staying in very close contact with them while we were only dating, but I noticed myself feeling a little sad when he would go to his mom or dad for advice before me or call up his mom or dad when something good would happen before telling me. Now, this could very well just be me being possessive, but this was something that I wanted to address with him before habits were set in stone for our whole marriage. 
         I communicated my thoughts with my husband and explained how now that I am his wife and his partner, I should be a little more present in those kinds of things. I made it clear that I in no way wanted him to stop talking to his parents or refrain from asking them for advice, but I just let him know that I wanted to be an important voice as well. He completely understood where I was coming from and since then, it has been great. We are good about communicating with each other first before talking to out parents not because we know that will make each other happy necessarily, but because we know that we are each other’s partner. I am so grateful for the great relationship that my husband has with his parents, however, but I am also grateful for the special relationship that I have with my husband as well.

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