Rituals

         One of the most inspiring things that we talked about this week, in my opinion, was found in chapter twelve of Gottman’s book when he talked about developing different rituals of connection with one another that have meaning. Since I got married two years ago, I have come to find that even the most tedious and menial of things have become little rituals that we treasure a lot. One of the main “rituals” that we have is getting ready for bed together and going to bed at the same time. Though our schedules conflict at times, it is so nice to know that at the end of the day, we will at least get to wind down together and go to bed together. By doing this, we are always able to say prayers together and keep that goal that we made to each other right when we first got married. I never thought it was a big deal growing up because that was never something that my parents did, but I have come to find that no matter what our schedules are, we will always try to do that together because though it is small, it is something that we cherish.

          Another thing that I really enjoyed talking about this week was shared values. I grew up in a single-member household with a dad that was amazing, but not a member of the church. My mom and dad came from completely different back grounds and those different backgrounds definitely came up from time to time. They had the same moral compass, believed in being good people, and shared similar values, but religion was never something that they talked about all that often. My dad believed in God, but never made church a priority. This was a difference that I didn’t want to have in my marriage because it was something that, from what I noticed growing up, I would definitely want in a marriage. Because of this, I made that a necessity in my “criteria” for my future husband.