Skip to main content

Chastity and Fidelity: The Vital "Organs" to a Marriage

          “The greatest guardians of any and all virtues are marriage and family. This is particularly the case with the virtues of chastity and fidelity in marriage, both of which are required to create enduring and fully rewarding marriage partnerships and family relationships.”

This was probably my most favorite phrase out of Elder Nelson’s address that we read this week. We talked a lot about divorce last week, and I can see how closely that ties in with this phrase as well. He mentions “chastity” and “fidelity” in this talk and, in my mind, I always just used to think of both of those things as a simple way to say, “not cheating on your spouse sexually, physically, etc.” I wanted to see what exactly Elder Nelson meant by this, so I looked up the word “fidelity” online and according to the dictionary, “fidelity” is:

“Faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support.”

          In my mind, this means so much more than just remaining sexually singular to your spouse. It mentions the importance of loyalty and support to your spouse and, at times, those can be hard things to always keep up on every day. In life, there are so many distractions that take us away from our spousal relationship and the vital “organs” within that relationship like good communication, simple compliments, etc. For my husband and I, we do as a lot of young people at BYU-I do and do summer sales every summer. We are currently living in Houston where it is humid, hot, buggy (which is great for his job {pest control sales}, but not too fun for me), far away from friends and family, and kind of lonely at times as he works from 9am-9pm every day. I can look in the mirror and tell myself, “I’m very supportive, just look at where I am! He should be happy that I moved all the way out to Houston just for his job!” and sometimes, I do just that! (Isn’t that ridiculous of me?) However, being supportive does not mean just grouchily moving somewhere for five months while my husband makes a living for us and provides us with the funds necessary for us to live, go to school, etc. Being supportive means telling him how proud I am of him at the end of, very clearly, long days, doing what I can to make his life easier, and giving him words of affirmation and appreciation. This is something that I need to work on every day. I am guilty of complaining and sounding ungrateful at times the same as every human is, but it is something that I know I need to continue to work on to assure that I am living up to what Elder Nelson said as showing fidelity to my spouse. This works both ways in a relationship and my situation is unique to my marriage as other situations are unique to other marriages, but I just found it to be so interesting how support and loyalty are just as important in a marriage as living a chaste life outside of your marriage.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Rituals

         One of the most inspiring things that we talked about this week, in my opinion, was found in chapter twelve of Gottman’s book when he talked about developing different rituals of connection with one another that have meaning. Since I got married two years ago, I have come to find that even the most tedious and menial of things have become little rituals that we treasure a lot. One of the main “rituals” that we have is getting ready for bed together and going to bed at the same time. Though our schedules conflict at times, it is so nice to know that at the end of the day, we will at least get to wind down together and go to bed together. By doing this, we are always able to say prayers together and keep that goal that we made to each other right when we first got married. I never thought it was a big deal growing up because that was never something that my parents did, but I have come to find that no matter what our schedules are, we will always try to do that to

Maintaining Healthy Familial Relationships

Feeling united in this life can seem like a daunting task even for those that appear to others to be in healthy, stable relationships. We have seen the separation that even our own, democratic society has currently and the unhealthy and disappointing divide it has caused since being created. President Eyring could not have explained it better when he stated the following: “All of us have felt something of both union and separation. Sometimes in families and perhaps in other settings we have glimpsed life when one person put the interests of another above his or her own, in love and with sacrifice. And all of us know something of the sadness and loneliness of being separate and alone. We don’t need to be told which we should choose. We know. But we need hope that we can experience unity in this life and qualify to have it forever in the world to come. And we need to know how that great blessing will come so that we can know what we must do.” Having health

Intimacy in Marriage

          Growing up, sexual intimacy was always a very taboo topic in my mind. I was given “the talk” by my mother when I was about eight years old, but always thought of being intimate as something that was “gross” and not something that I ever wanted to think about or talk about. As I advanced in age and entered the stage of life where I could date, I remember all of the lessons we would have in Young Women’s about the importance of our virtue and keeping ourselves worthy to enter the temple, and clean from any sexual sin. As I came to understand the importance of keeping myself pure and free of that sin, I started to think of intimacy in a different, more important light. Though I feel as if I did not fully understand the sacredness and true nature of marital intimacy, I began to realize that it was something important enough in the eyes of God to keep the rules on.            After I got married, I realized the marital intimacy is so much more than just the